Shithouse rat

I'm a bipolar writer in the Naked City. I'm not playing with a full deck. I don't have all my dots on the dice. My cheese is sliding off my cracker. I don't have both oars in the water. I'm a bubble off plum. In other words, I'm crazier than a shithouse rat. These are my stories. Comments--short or long, nasty or nice--always welcome!

Sunday, December 04, 2005

With a name like Shithouse rat, it has to be good!


stub_ico_top_big
Originally uploaded by ImNotGaryColeman.
IT'S BIG! IT'S BOLD! IT WHITENS! IT BRIGHTENS! IT SLICES! IT DICES! It's the cyber-sensation that's sweeping the nation! It's hours of fun for the whole family! It's the amazing:

ADVERTISING SLOGAN GENERATOR!!!!

FOLKS, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT this revolutionary little tool. It's so easy to operate, even a child can do it! Here's how it works:

All you do is enter a word or phrase (like your name, the name of your blog, your favorite politician, or anything you like), and the Advertising Slogan Generator will generate incredible ad slogans for you in big bold headlines. Just press the "sloganize" button for a brand new slogan, oven fresh from the generator. Comes out perfect every time!

Created through the wonders of cyberspace technology, the Advertising Slogan Generator has so many uses. In your camper or R.V., it'll keep the kids amused for hours as they sloganize every dirty word they can think of! At work, enter your boss's name or company logo to see how many embarassing slogans you can create and e-mail to co-workeers! Great at parties too.

HOW OFTEN HAVE YOU ENDURED THIS? You're on a road trip, and the kids are getting restless. They're screaming and fighting, and you're about to have a psychotic break and drive into the nearest tree. But wait--it's Advertising Slogan Generator to the rescue! Just log on and the kids can have fun and be creative too! (Laptop with cross-country wireless capability not included). Instead of crawling up your ass, they'll be busy coming up with gems like these:

When it absolutely, positively has to be farting overnight.

Break me off a piece of that poop.

Poppin fresh boogers.

Now, isn't that amazing? But wait--there's more!

WANT TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR OUR FINE ADMINISTRATION IN ITS TIME OF NEED? The Advertising Slogan Generator makes it easy to come up with great bumperstickers like these:

A day without Dubya is like a day without sunshine.

Choosy mothers choose Cheney.

A "Scooter" Libby a day helps you work, rest, and play.

ATTENTION ALL BLOGGERS! Scraping the bottom of the idea barrel and need a quick and easy post? Then the Advertising Slogan Generator is for you. Or maybe you're just starting a blog and need a name that will really make the bloggerati sit up and take notice! Well, if you've got the time, we've got the Advertising Slogan Generator!

Let's say you're thinking of naming your new blog "Daily Musings." All fine and good, but how about putting a little spin on it? Well, make it an Advertising Slogan Generator night and come up with great blog titles or subtitles like these:

America's most trusted daily musings.

The incredible, edible daily musings.

Only the crumbliest, flakiest daily musings.

See? Instant bloggertizing!

HERE'S SOME OF THE SENSATIONAL SLOGANS I generated for my blog! No need to add anything--it's a whole post in itself!

It's not TV. It's Shithouse Rat.

Have Shithouse rat your way.

Ding dong! Shithouse rat calling!

Things go better with Shithouse rat.

Shithouse rat--Australian for beer.

All the Shithouse rat that's fit to print.

I can't believe it's not Shithouse rat!

It takes a tough man to make a tender Shithouse rat.

I liked the Shithouse rat so much, I bought the company!

Got Shithouse rat?

Reach out and touch Shithouse rat.

You've got questons, we've got Shithouse rat.

Snap! Crackle! Shithouse rat!

Shithouse rat, the other white meat.

Strong enough for a man, made for a Shithouse rat.

There's no wrong way to eat a Shithouse rat.

All you add is Shithouse rat.

Let your Shithouse rat do the walking.

NOW, PEOPLE COME UP TO ME EACH AND EVERY DAY and ask me: Elvira, how on earth did you discover this amazing little tool? Well, it's very simple. It's what I like to call the "six degrees of blog separation." Here's how it works:

The other day, I was visiting the SENSATIONAL Neil Kramer at Citizen of the Month. Neil had just begun a gig at the WORLD FAMOUS Blogebrity, where he was doing a post a day on personal storytelling bloggers--and his very first Blogebrity post featured the site Dealing in Subterfuges by the PHENOMENAL blogger Jordan Baker!

Whiile I was checking out Jordan via Neil via Blogebrity, I happened to scroll down and came across Jordan's post on the whole generator phenomenon.. Jordan in turn had found out about it from the SUPER-CALO-FRAGOLISTIC-EXPI-ALI-DOCIOUS Hughes for America site.. Just click on their sites to see the HILARIOUS slogans they came up with for their blogs!

Remember, the Advertising Slogan Generator is not available in any store! So act now! And remember: tell 'em Shithouse rat sent you!

THE ADVERTISING SLOGAN GENERATOR. IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER.

Technorati tags:








,
,
,,

38 Comments:

At 6:17 PM, Blogger Walker said...

LMAO

I like some of the slogans you got.
"Snap Crackle Shithouse Rat" though cracked me up. LOL
The very first one is my favorite though "It's Not TV.It's ShitHouse Rat.

I tried a couple.

"Why Have Cotton When You Can Have Lost Here And Beyond?"

I guess this one came from the DEEP south.

"Lost Here And Beyond Really Satisfies".

Well I am happy someone thinks so LOL

"Every Kiss Begins With Lost Here And Beyond."

Oh god I hope not.

"A Lost Here And Beyond's Too Wet Without One."

HuH?

"Lost Here And Beyond - The Appetizer!"

Great I'm having trouble posting what I do and they want more.

"Women Will Do Anything For Lost Here And Beyond"

FUCK!!! The damn blog has been holding out on me.

I loved this post LOL

People will think of anything to make and I credit whoever created this with his/her efforts but I think I will stick to what I have and just stay Lost :)

 
At 9:17 PM, Blogger digibrill said...

Very cool. I'm sending this to the guys and girls at work.

 
At 2:13 AM, Anonymous Neil said...

I agree with Walker. Nothing tops
Snap! Crackle! Shithouse rat!

 
At 11:12 AM, Blogger Nikky Egland said...

Oh Hungry? Oh Nikky Egland.

That was mine! :)

 
At 11:57 AM, Blogger jessie said...

hey that's a pretty cool tool!

 
At 12:00 PM, Blogger jessie said...

here's a blinkie just for you!!! go to this site right click and save. perfect to host here!
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b22/JssGrff7/cunning.gif

 
At 12:01 PM, Blogger jessie said...

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b22/JssGrff7/cunning.gif

dunno why the whole thing didn't show up!

 
At 12:02 PM, Blogger jessie said...

dot gif is the last part of it! damn blogger!!!!!!!!

 
At 2:58 PM, Blogger Jack's Shack said...

Whoa.

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

Walker:

LOL--it's amazing what cool new inventions people can come up with on the internet. I think it helps everyone use brain cells they never thought they had (sometimes that's a good thing, and sometimes...)

 
At 8:48 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

Walker:

PS:

HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A WALKER?

 
At 8:54 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

Digibrill:

Yep--great for home OR office!

GEE, YOUR DIGIBILL SMELLS TERRIFIC.

 
At 9:02 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

Neil:

Hey, you modified and improved the slogan, you rascal!

Nothing beats Snap! Crackle! Shithouse rat!

BECAUSE NEIL IS COMPLICATED ENOUGH.

 
At 9:05 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

Nikky:

How true!

BREAK ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT NIKKY EGLAND.

 
At 9:08 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

Jessie:

Thank you! Couldn't get the link though. I love what you did with it on your blog though! Maybe you shouldn't give away your trade secrets anyway--lol.

IT'S THE BRIGHT ONE, IT'S THE RIGHT ONE, THAT'S JESSIE.

 
At 9:12 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

Jack's Shack:

Indeed.

JACK'S SHACK-LICKIN' GOOD.

 
At 10:09 AM, Blogger !ce said...

Ice (who now has an updated blog) has a slogan to share. When my CD comes out, it will be a collection of songs showing both the raw intensity and dynamic nature of a truly gifted artist, who is always controversial, always outspoke and forever the diva. It will touch something deep within every individual, everybody will be haunted by its allure, and I will influence countless artists, male and female, without them even realizing it.

 
At 12:55 PM, Blogger Webmiztris said...

"Which Twin Uses Webmiztris?"

LMAO!

 
At 2:17 PM, Blogger elvira black said...

Ice:

(Ahem)...that's NOT a slogan; that's a shameless self-promotion pimpy-plug! This, however, is a slogan:

SMART. BEAUTIFUL. ICE.

 
At 2:24 PM, Blogger elvira black said...

Webmiztris:

Which twin? I don't know, but it's gotta be the cooler one!

ABSOLUT WEBMIZTRIS.

 
At 2:37 PM, Blogger jessie said...

thanks for the comment and compliments! i will put the blinkie in the photo album so you can access it right from my site rather than messing with dumb links that work when they wanna. as far as secrets go, let me say this, it's easy once you figure it out but then it consumes you! haven't ya noticed?(my blog)

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger ariadneK, Ph.D. said...

DAMN!!!!! SOme of those "slogans" are just downright SCARY! :-)

 
At 6:21 PM, Blogger fugusashi said...

"Does you do, or does you don't take Fugu sashi?"

"The best part of waking up, is Fugu Sashi in your cup"

But this is what I met when I went to the site:

"Lipsmackin' Thirstquenchin' Acetastin' Motivatin' Goodbuzzin' Cooltalkin' Highwalkin' Fastlivin' Evergivin' Coolfizzin' Shithouse Rat."

This is freaking hilarious.

 
At 6:33 PM, Blogger Walker said...

One if it's done right :P

 
At 6:37 PM, Blogger artdetective said...

Tooo funny! My favorite might be
"Shithouse rat--Australian for beer". :)

 
At 2:13 AM, Blogger mrshellonheels said...

Thanks for this..it was fun!
I got this one

Hell On Heels - It Does a Body Good

 
At 7:10 AM, Blogger SafeTinspector said...

On a lark, I typed in "topological improbability"

Aptly enough, it produced:
"Because Topological Improbability is Complicated Enough."

Heh heh.

 
At 8:09 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

Jessie:

"It's easy once you figure it out but then it consumes you"...hmmm....blogging alone has done that to me. If I start with the blinkies now, they may have to put me away (again)!

BEHOLD THE POWER OF JESSIE.

 
At 8:11 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

Ariadnek:

Scary, yes--advertising is VERY scary!

YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS WITH ARIADNEK.

 
At 8:13 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

Paula:

ROFL! That is tooo much! That's one of the most beautiful thing about the Advertising Slogan Generator. If you bookmark it, it'll keep generating slogans for you WHILE YOU SLEEP!

PAULA--THE FRESHMAKER!

 
At 8:15 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

Walker:

Yep, that's what I thought!

EVERY KISS BEGINS WITH WALKER.

 
At 8:16 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

artdetective:

I hear that next to the kangaroo, the Shithouse rat is the most popular Australian mascot.

GET SERIOUS. GET ARTDETECTIVE.

 
At 8:17 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

Hell on Heels:

You know it, I know it, they know it!

DON'T BE VAGUE. ASK FOR HELL ON HEELS.

 
At 8:20 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

safetinspector:

LOL--I'm sure it is!

THE CURIOUSLY STRONG SAFETINSPECTOR.

 
At 5:01 PM, Blogger ElisaC said...

You have mastered the art of post title writing. It made me laugh to see this one, just because there are so few people who actually remember the SNL skit that started out with "with a name like fluckers it's got to be good." And went seriously downhill from there. Shithouse rat would have fit right into the skit :) Anyway, I reference it all the time, and people look at me blankly :(

BTW: my comment verification word was fmncucf - doesn't that look like it must stand for something dirty?

 
At 6:52 PM, Blogger elvira black said...

Elisac:

Thanks--I see that you are a woman of many blogs!

My blog title alacrity was honed from years of being a non-profit propaganda pimp. Now it just flows out as effortlessly as....well....you know.

Since I am a baby boomer blogger (say that five times fast) I expect that some of the more "classic" generator slogans may sail right over those "young people's" respective heads. But hey--one woman's collective unconscious is another's meaningless gibberish, n'est pas?

Yes, nice comment verification "word." Perhaps I'll use it for the title of my next post.

Thanks again for the link!

EVERYTHING WE DO IS DRIVEN BY ELISAC.

 
At 11:23 PM, Blogger Danny said...

ROFL LMAO PIP! :))))))

 
At 3:04 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

Danny:

Now that's what I strive for: a Depends-worthy post.

MAKE IT A DANNY NIGHT.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home