Shithouse rat

I'm a bipolar writer in the Naked City. I'm not playing with a full deck. I don't have all my dots on the dice. My cheese is sliding off my cracker. I don't have both oars in the water. I'm a bubble off plum. In other words, I'm crazier than a shithouse rat. These are my stories. Comments--short or long, nasty or nice--always welcome!

Friday, March 31, 2006

May the force be with you

Originally uploaded by MontyPython.
Well, knock wood, I think I'm finally pulling out of my slump.

I finally realized, after almost a year of having my nose pressed to the computer screen, that I need to attend to other things that need doing, including some that I also enjoy.

A few days ago, I went to the grocery store instead of just letting BG do it, and bought myself a whole slew of healthy foods. After a long interlude of being a virtual shut-in, I got out in the sunshine a little and enjoyed the springlike weather. I've made a concerted effort to cut down on my smoking as well. After three days, I feel immensely better physically and emotionally, and I feel eager to continue down this road; full of newfound energy.

I got through some chores that I had to do, and that made me feel like I'd accomplished some important matters even though it took some effort and I needed to force myself to do them. This, I've sometimes found, can help nip my depression in the bud. The sense of control is very empowering. It's heartening to realize that every bad patch or gloomy mood doesn't have to signal the start of a downward spiral.

Fortunately, in this instance I knew what had to be done and I had control over the means and the outcome. In the past, I've had periods in my work life where I did not have that kind of control over pressures and stress, and the results were disastrous.

It really can be true that there is always darkness before the dawn. By reaching a crisis point, I was forced to face up to my personal demons and take steps toward accomplishing very necessary goals. In the past, I've also found that self-help books have been an inspiration, but this time my motivation came from within.

Thank you for the comments on the previous post--I will respond to all. Your kind and supportive words helped me immensely as well.


At 3:38 AM, Blogger digibrill said...

I know what you mean! I had a stack of receipts here - they gather every two weeks or so - and after I dispensed of them, checking them like I do against my online statement, it just feels like I got something significant done. I feel "hey, I'm monetarily fit!" It does wonders. So does doing the dishes after two days worth. Great job, elvira.

At 4:20 AM, Blogger WDKY said...

Elvira, whilst not identifying fully with the feelings you write about, I've had my own kind of slumps too. I've found that just doing the small things has a way of gathering momentum, and before you know it you're doing the bigger things too. Just the satisfaction of accomplishing something seems to be the spur.

I'm glad you're feeling more positive, and I hope you have a lovely weekend. We're having the first sun of spring over here - can you believe that?

At 8:56 AM, Blogger elvira black said...


Isn't it amazing how that works? In the midst of my slump, I still managed to get all my tax stuff together to send to my preparer. I just did it a little at a time and took breaks, but was able to send it off and get it out of my hair. And yes, attending to a sinkful of dirty dishes can be a mood-enhancer as well--lol.

At 8:58 AM, Blogger elvira black said...


Words of wisdom if I ever heard them! We're having lovely springlike weather as well, and for once I'm enjoying it rather than literally letting the seasons fly by barely noticing because I seldom left the house. Feels like I've been released from prison, literally and figuratively!

At 9:20 PM, Blogger jane said...

I'm a hermit, so I can really relate with you not going out. But it really does feel good when you finally do, huh? Fresh air is good for us! Glad things are starting to look up.

At 9:22 PM, Blogger jane said...

I'm a hermit, so I can really relate with you not going out. But it really does feel good when you finally do, huh? Fresh air is good for us! Glad things are starting to look up.

At 1:20 AM, Blogger !ce said...

If you want to indulge yourself, try carob tofu ice cream. It's very rich and very filling. Speaking of healthy eating, I'm going to suggest three books. 1) How It All Vegan, 2) The Garden of Vegan, 3) Cooking with PETA.

At 3:50 AM, Blogger elvira black said...


When I get my new place, I intend to do a lot of cooking, and I may investigate doing more veggie stuff. I think it would be fairly easy for me to go the vegetarian route, if not the vegan, though I'd probably prefer not to give up chicken and fish. But I love veggies, and I love vegetarian food. Thanks for the tips!

At 3:51 AM, Blogger elvira black said...


It's really surprising how :"easy" it was to become a hermit. I always thought it would be too depressing to not get out more, but it wasn't. But now that spring is here, I'm trying to get out a bit more, and it is nice to not "miss" such a great season!

At 7:21 AM, Anonymous Flowers London said...

Reading this reminded me of Jack in “Lost”, in the first episodes, I think, when he couldn’t decide if he can cope with the power of leading the group. The idea was that he needed to face his destiny. And he did by destroying his father’s coffin, which was empty, if I remember correctly. Indeed, as you say and as it may appear to him being in control is very empowering, it gives you a sense of living a real life.

At 2:13 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

flowers london:

Thanks for visiting my golden oldies--lol. Never watched Lost, but I do think that having control can be challenging, daunting, even frightening at times--but, as you say, also empowering.


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