A teeny tattoo tale

Witchy
Originally uploaded by Elvira Black.

Since BG's birthday (Halloween) is coming up fast, he's been itching to get a new tattoo. I've written here before about his tattoos, and I don't have much to add here, other than that his tattoos are cool, and he is cool about them--meaning, he doesn't flaunt them, and really gets them mainly for his own head.

When we were still going to AA, a certain cretin (see BG's rendition here) loved to show off his tattoos, which were cheap and dreadful. He'd come into a meeting and show anyone and everyone his newest abomination. He and his scag girlfriend were always trying to corral us into hanging out with them after the meeting, and constantly asked where we were headed. One day we made the mistake of telling them that BG was going into Manhattan to get a new tattoo.

Since, like many assholes, they were always quick to give unsolicited advice, they both exclaimed in unison: "Don't go to Manhattan! Go to Webster Avenue!" (in BG's Bronx neighborhood.) Apparently, Skank boy's bro was learning the tattoo trade and practiced on his brother--or something.

The thing is, although BG loves a bargain, there are some things that you just have to pay extra for. Tattoes, in my opinion, are one of them. They last a lifetime, after all. It's not like buying a set of bath towels or even a new TV. BG has a few top notch guys he goes to exclusively. They cost more, but they're well worth it.

In any case, when BG came to the next AA meeting and Skank boy asked to see his new tattoo, BG showed it to him and he suddenly grew very quiet. Apparently, he finally realized that BG knew a thing or two about a thing or two (funny that, considering BG is old enough to be Skank's father, just for starters). Shortly thereafter, Skankie pulled BG aside and asked his advice: "BG, do you think I should cover up this spiderweb tattoo with a dragon?" BG just shrugged. What kind of moron would cover up a dreadful tattoo with another one just as bad?

In any case, BG came back yesterday evening, very pleased with his new acquisition. He had been nervous going in, because after all, there's no refund, no exchange for this sort of thing.

But eerily enough, there was a strange little story on the local news station today that I thought was quite ironic.

Those of you who've seen the movie Spinal Tap may recall that in addition to their other problems, the band had gone through a slew of drummers over the years because they all seemed to....well...die on them. One of them expired following a "bizarre gardening accident." One can only imagine.

In any case, one of New York 1's top stories today involved a bizarre tatooing accident at an unlicensed parlor in Brooklyn. Seems a young guy had just finished getting a tattoo. He got up, passed out, and fell over into a plate glass counter. The glass cut into his throat and he died. The tattoo he took to his grave, by the way, was called "Last Rites."

Anyone else have any bizarro tales to share?