Shithouse rat

I'm a bipolar writer in the Naked City. I'm not playing with a full deck. I don't have all my dots on the dice. My cheese is sliding off my cracker. I don't have both oars in the water. I'm a bubble off plum. In other words, I'm crazier than a shithouse rat. These are my stories. Comments--short or long, nasty or nice--always welcome!

Friday, January 06, 2006


The incompably sweet and deliciousAriadnek of Weird Cake hath tagged me verily, and sorely vexed me. Just kidding, but I had to wrack my scrambled brains a bit to come up with the three requred items for the meme below. Well, anywho, here goes:

"The rules are simple: now that you have been busted, you must confess to 3 things that you do that others don't know about."

1. I LOVE gossip. Not the malicious kind, usually--however, since I was a psych/soc major back in the day, I still like to analyze people almost as if they were "case studies." Sort of taking, as a good friend once suggested, the point of view of an alien coming down to earth and observing human behavior from a neutral, bemused perspective. Rather than getting emotionally overwrought at mankind's foibles, it can sometimes be fruitful to say to oneself: "My, these humans are peculiar. Whyever do they do these strange things? Fascinating!" I figure if it's good enough for Spock and Data, it's good enough for me. And this method, of course, can also be used on myself, though that can be a lot harder to do.

2. I'm sometimes too much of a know it all. I try--not always successfully--to resist the temptation to give unsolicited advice to people who confide their problems or struggles or dreams to me. As a result, I sometimes make a horse's ass out of myself--but I'm trying to improve.

3. I'm terrible with numbers and stats. If you asked me to tell you how much was in my bank account right now (not that it's any kind of big fortune by any means) or how much I paid for something at the grocery store (which is why I love 99 cent stores--easy to remember that way) or even today's date, I'm often hopelessly stuck.

Which reminds me: one of the things they sometimes ask you before they admit you to the loony bin is what day it is. I can usually master the day of the week, but if this were the sole criteria for sanity, I'd be in the rubber room on a permanent basis. At least I can name the current president--though what I actually call him will have to wait for another meme.

OK, lesse now (rubbing hands together in glee):

By the powers vested in me, I hereby tag Mr. 12 Step, Paula, and artdetective.


At 8:08 AM, Blogger elvira black said...

Typo alert!

That's "incomparably" sweet, A. I dare not go back and repost, because it will probably undo the order of my two posts for today. Sorry!

At 8:48 AM, Blogger !ce said...

Someone please explain tagging to me?

At 10:43 AM, Blogger jessie said...

i love dollar stores too. i can go in one and spend about 100 bucks! is that insanity or frugality? not sure!

At 12:46 PM, Blogger elvira black said...


A meme is an exercise (hopefully not in futility) where someone starts trouble--I mean--fun amonsgt his/her circle of blogpals, usually by some sort of list like: name five thiings about you that are shocking and vile.

Since there are five things on the list, proper meme etiquette would mean that after doing your own meme, you tag five others. In my case, it was three items so I only tagged three people.

They in turn do their meme duty, and pass the torch onto three more bloggers--kind of like a pyramid scheme or chain letter.

Of course, no one is required to follow through.

I would have tagged you, Ice, but you usually aren't too confessional except for the fact that you love Cyndi Lauper, Mariah Carey, and what's her name. Sorry.

If you wanted to start a meme, you could, for instance, name several divas you admire, and then tag others and ask them to name their favorite performers.

Hope that clarifies matters!

At 12:47 PM, Blogger elvira black said...


In BG's 'hood, the 99 cent stores are a staple of the neighborhood. The best are the ones that actually do have everything for 99 cents, as opposed to the 99 cent and up stores.

So if you purchase a hundred bucks worth of items, at least you know you've got one hundred items, right? That's the beauty part!

At 6:48 PM, Blogger fugusashi said...

Elvira, you cruel woman, you.

hehe...really, I spill my guts all over the net already, the hard part will be coming up things that people don't already know about.

At 7:43 AM, Blogger elvira black said...


Tell me about it. I almost wound up revealing something ultra-personal, but I realized that it would fall into the "more information than you really needed to know" category. So I wimped out, but it did kind of make me think.

Can't wait to see yours!

At 4:34 PM, Blogger Lord Boinkingham said...

I just befriended a psych/soc nerd while I was in NYC for new year's. I minored in psych myself and know a few other brain pickers (a neuroscientist among us) so I think you'd fit in well if we all went out drinkin together.

As for advice, here's a neat trick. Instead of giving or telling, I ask people questions. Lots of questions. And if you're clever enough at guiding those questions, you can not only slip in your own two cents, but the person will usually figure out their problem "on their own" as you mine their psyche. Then they feel smarter for having solved the problem within their own mind (with a little prying by you) and will likely come to you again.

So, being a self-proclaimed number fumbler, I assume it'll take you till next xmas to start putting 2006 on your checks without any scribbles.


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